I write about my stressed, workaholic, self-effacing, overcommitted, coffee-fueled life. In 2020, my story in Narratively was one of the top three most read stories in 2020 and editor’s pick. I received a 2012 National Society of Newspaper Columnists award for www.schmeightschmatchers.com, a 2011 Memoir award from Writers Artists Collaborative, and three awards from Humorpress.com’s “America’s Funniest Humor”™ Showcase. My essay “Senseless in Seattle” appears in How to Fit a Car Seat on a Camel and Other Misadventures Traveling With Kids, edited by Sarah Franklin in 2008.

Ivy Eisenberg 1/1/20 Ivy Eisenberg 1/1/20

I Quit My Job at 50 to Reinvent Myself. Pro Tip: Don’t Do This.

My fantasy was to escape from the corporate grind. After a taste of freedom and months of hare-brained schemes, I begged to be captured again.

Ivy Eisenberg 3/4/12 Ivy Eisenberg 3/4/12

Tonsillectomy 1966

My parents said they’d move the TV from the living room up to our room, which actually made me more nervous. If this tonsil operation was such a small deal, why was there such a huge payoff?

Ivy Eisenberg 7/1/11 Ivy Eisenberg 7/1/11

Schnookworks

… Experts in schnookery, we offer a range of services …

Ivy Eisenberg 4/29/08 Ivy Eisenberg 4/29/08

Senseless in Seattle

Ivy Eisenberg 3/1/07 Ivy Eisenberg 3/1/07

Man With a Beat in the Driver’s Seat

The most irritating thing about the man in my driver’s seat is not that he won’t ask for directions. It’s that he won’t ask for the toilet.